I don't know where to start!

First I will apologize for not posting sooner. Really I've been putting it off because I have so much to say I don't know where to begin. I'll get the basics out of the way and then I'll get to the good part. Cory promoted to driver position two weeks ago.  We are so proud of him. His 6 months of daily studying and sacrifices paid off when he scored the highest on the test out of over 50 guys. He is enjoying his new role and thankful for the opportunity. Emma started back to preschool last week. She is loving her 3 year old class, her new teachers and her new friends. She is talking non-stop these days, saying so many things that make us laugh. Most of all, her sweet and gentle spirit is what we love the most. She is so caring and it is amazing to watch her grow up. She is starting to ask so really important questions about Jesus and we are reading her children's bible and learning all about Noah, Jonah and Adam and Eve. It's wonderful to be able to have the chance to teach her about Jesus and his undying love for us. I'm still working at a pediatrician's office. I am only working 4 days a week now, which is nice. No weekends, no holidays. Good stuff.
Now the good part. I can't even begin to tell you how God has changed us and how much our lives have changed. It all started a few months ago. Conversations. Sermons. Desires. Longings. Guilt. Love. Let me back things up over a year ago. God started his work in me over a year back. I have always loved the Lord. I was saved at a young age and grew up loving the Lord. I grew up in a home where my entire family went to church and loved the Lord. He was important to us all. My love for him was never in question. But things in my life deterred my relationship with him for a time. Again, never stopped loving or believing IN him. I just didn't believe what he was telling me. I didn't think what he was saying about his forgiveness, grace, and mercy was for "ME". I had done too much or not been "perfect enough" for him. No way would he forgive me or could I do things to further his kingdom. Then add my control issue on top of this, was a disastrous picture. God finally broke me down layer by layer over time and I realized that I was forgiven long ago and I could stop trying to make it up to him and move on to more important things. Like serving him and loving him. God placed very special people in my life to help me out along the way. To help me to begin to love myself like God loves me and to realize he has all along. Since then, my life has not been the same. I have finally learned after living for 29 years what having a true "relationship" with Christ feels like. He is more than I ever imagined. I have been very humbled throughout this experience. He is the only person in my life who will always be on my team, who will never hurt my feelings, who will always listen to me, who will never be too busy for me, who will never leave my side.
Three or four months ago I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Wow, that's about all I can say. This book is incredible. Quite hard to read in some places. But after reading this book, I live and worship in a whole new way. I finally know how it feels to be "in love" with God and not just to love him or what he stands for. I have a daily walk with him. After reading this, I read Radical by David Platt. Crazy love just got me warmed up, then reading Radical was unbelievable. Difficult to ready as well. It's very black and white. The bible is black and white. These books will confront you full force with how we are suppose to be living versus how we are truly living. We live in a society today where we all seek to have the American Dream  lifestyle and not a life that God calls us to.
We are here on earth living by God's grace. Our sole purpose in life is to make his name famous and to further his kingdom. It is to live our lives so that others will see Jesus in us and through our actions. For the first time in my life, I have read my bible daily and am in awe of what is in there. God tells us that we will suffer, we will have difficulties here on earth. But despite these times, He is there and his promise to us is that one day, if we accept him and live according to how we are told in his word, we will join him one day. This is only our temporary home. Thank goodness for that. I long for the day where I will join loved ones and live a life of non-stop worship, a life with no pain, no sin, no rude people, no sorrows.
Our lives have changed forever and it's amazing seeing how God is working through not only me, but through Cory, through our brothers and sisters, our friends, and our church home (Allen Bible Church). Here's a great quote from Radical "The plan of Christ is not dependent on having the right programs or hiring the right professionals but on building and being the right people- a community of people- who realize that we are all enabled and equipped to carry out the purpose of God for our lives". Wow. Just what I needed to hear when reading this. I've spent too much of my life thinking I was not the right person to do certain things because I wasn't good enough or "perfect" for the job. But the key point is that God has already equipped me, so by believing in him and answer "yes" to his call and stepping out of faith. He fills in the gap. That way it is obvious who gets the glory for what I do. It's not me, it's him. Because apart from Him, I am nothing. We are nothing. We sin, we are selfish, we look out for ourselves and seek to be pleased from everything else but the one person who can endlessly fulfill us. I am excited about the future. God is preparing us for something. There are so many opportunities to serve him and make his name famous. I am just praying about what mine is. I can't wait. There's a great song out right now by a very special person to us. The timing of this song is incredible. God is good. I just wish I'd realized this sooner. I still get very emotional talking about all of this because I am so overwhelmed with joy. Not tears of sadness but tears of joy. I just wish everyone in the world could understand this joy. Life is so much better on this side. I am complete. I'm just in awe of God. Now I won't stop sharing until all have heard.
I'll post some new pictures soon. Off to get Emma from school.

"I Will Follow" by Chris Tomlin

Loving Him more and more each day,
Holly